tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-70689087584755466572024-03-17T20:52:59.230-07:00Peter StellaPeter Stellahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16794605079003303751noreply@blogger.comBlogger40125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7068908758475546657.post-53780886895843000032023-05-09T23:24:00.000-07:002023-05-09T23:24:43.570-07:00The Last Supper<div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgUaYiu2qrE72wNSc4gZuhhACk8r7OKvMJu8iScRnjU1jlMo48knb5xyBEoQxqpaX23TfpUBokZ7qPv3M9Sfv9GEvfnd6vxKg0Flo3FDwG_mDbznAPDUA0aWKtS9EQn1gJKLmaVYZ_bfePbxultYkEFYICD7t4eWt753zoWHv6G30B-CMFapXlf-dBekQ/s5404/central.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="3600" data-original-width="5404" height="361" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgUaYiu2qrE72wNSc4gZuhhACk8r7OKvMJu8iScRnjU1jlMo48knb5xyBEoQxqpaX23TfpUBokZ7qPv3M9Sfv9GEvfnd6vxKg0Flo3FDwG_mDbznAPDUA0aWKtS9EQn1gJKLmaVYZ_bfePbxultYkEFYICD7t4eWt753zoWHv6G30B-CMFapXlf-dBekQ/w543-h361/central.jpg" width="543" /></a></div><div><br /></div>Flying felt like hope, and hope felt like flying.</div><div>You handed me plane tickets, and my heart sheepishly agreed.</div><div>We leapt through puddles of shade in Central Park.</div><div>Your shirt matched the leaves.</div><div>But I woke up in the warm night air, lying on the grass.</div><div>Fireflies swirled around me as my tears poured into my ears.</div><div>I wanted to run to you.</div><div>I wanted to say what my heart was screaming.</div><div>But I didn't want to be Kyle.</div><div>No one does.</div><div>So I said it with my eyes instead, and I immediately regretted it.</div><div><br /></div><div>We ate lunch today, not supper.</div><div>You asked to split savory and sweet (probably for the last time)</div><div>I gasped not so subtly and braced myself</div><div>And then you told me the news</div><div>...and showed me the pictures of the ring.</div><div><br /></div><div>I don't need you to love me.</div><div>I don't need you to need me.</div><div>I don't even need you to want me.</div><div>But please don't forget.</div><div>Please don't forget.</div><div>Please don't forget.<br /></div>Peter Stellahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16794605079003303751noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7068908758475546657.post-64233475053950673632023-04-26T00:10:00.000-07:002023-04-26T00:10:27.583-07:00My pain fits in the palm of your freezing hand.<p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://images.unsplash.com/photo-1512547782667-4786bfbd0754?ixlib=rb-4.0.3&ixid=MnwxMjA3fDB8MHxwaG90by1wYWdlfHx8fGVufDB8fHx8&auto=format&fit=crop&w=1548&q=80" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="600" data-original-width="800" height="468" src="https://images.unsplash.com/photo-1512547782667-4786bfbd0754?ixlib=rb-4.0.3&ixid=MnwxMjA3fDB8MHxwaG90by1wYWdlfHx8fGVufDB8fHx8&auto=format&fit=crop&w=1548&q=80" width="624" /></a></div><p></p><p><br /></p><p><span style="font-size: medium;">"It went horribly." Oliver said before Charlotte could even ask how his job interview went. Charlotte walked over to him until her wet rain boots met his. She slowly reached her arms around him to embrace him. "I'm so sorry." She whispered. Oliver pulled away to wipe the tears from his eyes before they could stream down his face. "I feel so silly, I knew it was too lofty of a dream to hope for" he said. Charlotte looked him in the eyes and calmly stated, "I didn't marry a quitter." Oliver's eyes widened and his jaw dropped. "You heard me," she said. Oliver joked, "I thought this was the part where you feel bad for me." Charlotte laughed with him, and her hands found his. "I mean, I would feel bad if this was your 10th interview that went badly, but this was only your first," she said sarcastically. They continued to smile and laugh with each other. "I'm here for you," Charlotte said, "I'm on your side, and I want you to succeed. I know it feels like the whole world is against you, but at least you've got me." Oliver put his hand on her cheek and looked into her hopeful eyes as he said, "You make it so easy for me to remember why I married you." They kissed gently, then with closed eyes, put their foreheads together as they silently breathed. "Here," Charlotte said as she pulled out a chair at their small table, "spill the tea, I want to hear all the little details."</span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><br /><br /><br /></div><br /><br /><p></p>Peter Stellahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16794605079003303751noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7068908758475546657.post-9027465844829036822023-04-24T00:23:00.001-07:002023-04-24T00:23:26.686-07:00The Lost Boy<p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEiWBp0trb7bYlaufOY7mSn-PVtrFZvBOvN18_EqkcVNMTgt5KJyh6Zt4p41NAbKavLaVBmfWfLy8Lvu4O-qnSfL9trU1A_7ucpI2ZJouybWS0b0oKzzSvb4OjTgpQlzwRenoh7dFsY-7c14GGpPAB1ig1URjYBEnyXUBjKBToWIERxMnL_JKClNn9aLaQ" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="1350" data-original-width="1080" height="365" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEiWBp0trb7bYlaufOY7mSn-PVtrFZvBOvN18_EqkcVNMTgt5KJyh6Zt4p41NAbKavLaVBmfWfLy8Lvu4O-qnSfL9trU1A_7ucpI2ZJouybWS0b0oKzzSvb4OjTgpQlzwRenoh7dFsY-7c14GGpPAB1ig1URjYBEnyXUBjKBToWIERxMnL_JKClNn9aLaQ=w292-h365" width="292" /></a></div><p><br /></p>The pages were doused with pixy dust. They left glitter in my hands and yours. Nothing mattered because we mattered. The lost boy was found and lost again. He climbed a mountain so he could look around but fell. Oh, I can't, your knees and face were torn, and your arm ached, and I tried to save you, but I can't.<p></p><p><br /></p><p>Billowing in the wind, the sails flowed with the current, but I tried to stop them. I cut holes in the sheets of white, hoping they would keep you here, but you sailed away anyways. With the blood red sunset ahead, you sailed away from Neverland out to find yourself.</p><p><br /></p><p>I hope you find yourself. I hope you find what you were missing was not something new, but something you already had. I hope you find pearls found deep in the ocean and leave the diamonds in the hill. I hope you find yourself the way that I found you.<br /> </p>Peter Stellahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16794605079003303751noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7068908758475546657.post-72545263501439094872019-06-29T23:19:00.003-07:002019-06-30T21:11:52.588-07:00This is the why...You make my social anxiety more mellow. You help me to get up and fight.<br />
You make it easy to try. You help me when I feel stressed and lonely.<br />
You keep everything balanced and right. You make the bottom less deep.<br />
You make it easier to talk to my parents. You help me see others in a new light.<br />
You make my weakness less weak. You help me see the why.<br />
You keep the spaceship moving towards the stars and past the moon.<br />
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You bring the feeling that only a trusted friend can bring.<br />
You help me to remember who I am.<br />
You help me understand.<br />
You make the awkwardness leave with its tail between its legs.<br />
You fill me with wonder and awe.<br />
You play this piano duet with me.<br />
<br />
Everyone worries about things, but no one makes any change.<br />
Everyone talks, but no one is right.<br />
Everyone has questions, but no one has answers.<br />
Everyone is running around with their heads chopped off, but no one has a level head.<br />
Everyone is looking for something, but no one can find it.<br />
<br />
I guess I could make it on my own. I think about it sometimes... what it would be like to grow old, live alone in a small apartment, have a few friends, own a dog or two... I could make it work. I wouldn't have to worry about certain things; I would only have to worry about myself. Every time I cooked, I would have my next meal set because I would have too much, and I would store it in the fridge as left-overs. I wouldn't have to clean very regularly. I could go to bed when I wanted, I could listen to whatever I wanted at whatever volume I wanted. I could be disgusting or gross, I could walk around in my underwear for an entire day, if I wanted. I could come home from work, and the two decisions I would be required to make is what I should have for dinner, and whether I wanted to watch Downton Abbey, or The Office. I could lay in the middle of my floor, listen to music, and think about absolutely nothing...if I wanted.<br />
<br />
But what if I wanted someone to hog all of the pasta? What if I want to have to worry about another person...or two or three or four? What if I wanted to clean up the mess of a small human who decided to draw on the wall? What if I wanted to tuck someone in for bed at 8:30, and read them a bed time story? What if I wanted to share the remote with a girl, who I loved so much that I would let her choose a cheesy rom com to watch? What if I wanted to play dress up with my princess of a daughter, and my pirate of a son? What if I wanted to make dinner for 5 hungry tummies? What if I wanted to lay in the middle of the floor, talking to my soulmate about thoughts, opinions, ideas, and dreams, late into the night as our children slept safely and soundly?<br />
<br />
You are the who...<br />
<br />
Love is the what...<br />
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And this is the why.<br />
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<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C4NgsbkyeJs">https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C4NgsbkyeJs</a>Peter Stellahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16794605079003303751noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7068908758475546657.post-88575929588782313932019-06-22T23:14:00.000-07:002019-06-22T23:14:00.604-07:00It was always here."I'm not a river or a giant bird<br />
That soars to the sea<br />
<span style="color: #351c75;">And if I'm never tied to anything<br />I'll never be free</span><br />
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I wanted magic shows and miracles<br />
Mirages to touch<br />
I wanted such a little thing from life<br />
I wanted so much<br />
I never came close, my love<br />
We never came near<br />
It never was there<br />
I think it was here<br />
<br />
They showed me crimson, gold and lavender<br />
A shining parade<br />
But there's no color I can have on earth<br />
That won't finally fade<br />
When I wanted worlds to paint<br />
And costumes to wear<br />
I think it was here<br />
'Cause it never was there"<br />
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~Pippin<br />
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Peter Stellahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16794605079003303751noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7068908758475546657.post-90515560197255221852019-06-22T23:12:00.004-07:002019-06-22T23:12:44.608-07:00Not for nothing<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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~Molly</div>
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Peter and the Star Catcher</div>
Peter Stellahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16794605079003303751noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7068908758475546657.post-79699783552009935912019-06-22T23:12:00.000-07:002019-06-22T23:12:06.744-07:00life is but a dream I used to think that time was important. I thought I needed to hold on to the future, and nothing else. Then you walked in, and time slowed down. But then you left, and time sped up again, and all this time has passed and I can't stop thinking about time, and the way that it always moves. I don't want to have to think about time because I already have enough on my calendar.<br />
I love you, I have always loved you, and I am willing to love you forever. Time doesn't matter when love is involved. Nights will extend for lifetimes, and the moon will shine full all the while. It will always be Fall, with the fire and the blankets and the warm drinks.<br />
But right now, you are gone, and time is as fast as a roadrunner, and the sun is shining bright. It is way too hot, and you are making me run way too fast, and I think I am going to pass out. But maybe if I catch up with time, I'll catch up with you.<br />
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Peter Stellahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16794605079003303751noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7068908758475546657.post-88365688486839911792019-06-22T23:11:00.001-07:002019-06-22T23:11:33.160-07:00Things I love: Part 1*The feeling that comes right after tons of company leaves, and the house is silent and still.<br />
*Going to my loft to read or listen to music or just think.<br />
*The twinkle of tiny lights amid the black night.<br />
*Brushing my teeth.<br />
*Breathing in the warm air when taking a shower.<br />
*Listening to a really good song for the first time.<br />
*Coming home and having my dogs greet me like it's been 10 years since they last saw me.<br />
*Having a really good, long, nondramatic, talk with a friend about ideas rather than other people.<br />
*Hot drinks in the Winter and cold drinks in the Summer.<br />
*The first dive into a swimming pool.<br />
*Having a baby say your name.<br />
*The 4th of July.<br />
*Going on a walk.<br />
*Laying on the grass in my front yard while waiting to be picked up.<br />
*Not having pneumonia. Which I can't get rid of for some reason.<br />
*Waking up without an alarm clock. Probably the most relatable one on the list.<br />
*Going to the grocery store.<br />
*Walking through a book store.<br />
*Strawberries or tomatoes from my yard.<br />
*Cooking something new and having it be heavenly.<br />
*Watching ANY Disney or Harry Potter movie.<br />
*Remembering random childhood memories.<br />
*Being really tired and finally getting into bed.<br />
*When less time has passed than actually thought.<br />
*Getting out of the car after driving for a few hours.<br />
*Accomplishing something that took a lot of work.<br />
*Polishing a song on the piano/guitar/vocal chords.<br />
*Drinking a full glass of water when it has been desperately needed for a long time.<br />
*Meditating, or those moments where all you are thinking about is your breathe.<br />
*Seeing a Shakespeare play, any of them really.<br />
*Riding a horse.<br />
*Visiting new places, and the memories that follow.<br />
*When people let you know that you have touched their lives.<br />
*When people touch your life.<br />
*Dole pineapple whip at Disneyland.<br />
*Violins, those times when they swell.<br />
*Waking up early and getting started on things right away. (This is rare, but wonderful thing).<br />
*My parents' humor.<br />
*Eclipse spearmint gum.<br />
*Mint juleps.<br />
*Zoos.<br />
*Reading blog posts that make you sit for a second, dumbfounded about the beauty that you just read.<br />
*Jane Austen. I know...I know... ...also Downton Abbey...<br />
*Meeting really kind, selfless people.<br />
*Flying in an airplane.<br />
*Playing games with friends like we are 7 year olds.<br />
*Temple square at Christmas time.<br />
*Temple square at Springtime.<br />
*I Love Lucy, The Andy Griffith Show, and Bewitched.<br />
*Being home alone.<br />
*Hearing my aunt tell a story, and seeing her get WAY too into it.<br />
*Being outside in the middle of the night, but so warm that you don't even need a jacket.<br />
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*Last but certainly not least, the sky. I am utterly obsessed with the sky. Every time you look at it, it's different. Every sunset is unique, and the texture of clouds are always random. I remember one time there was a storm, and half the sky was purple, and the purple swirled together with the storm clouds making a grayish purple monster beside the East mountain line. The middle of the sky was bright blue and the sun was setting making the west a piercing red. I hope you aren't getting too tired of me talking about the sun, I know a few of you might be. But I will never stop talking about the sun, for without it, this world, and all that we know, would be gone.<br />
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Peter Stellahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16794605079003303751noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7068908758475546657.post-44150109199619676372019-06-22T23:10:00.005-07:002019-06-22T23:10:56.263-07:00Threads and Summer and Balloons and Canyons<span style="white-space: pre;"> </span>I'm off to the last road trip of the Summer. Now I can reflect on everything. This Summer was nothing like last Summer and I don't want to talk about it, but I wish this one could have been more like last year's. My skin is starting to peel from my sunburns/tans revealing the pale white that my skin will be for the next 9 months. Unlike last Summer, this one seems like a weekend, and now it's Sunday night and I just now remembered about all the homework I'm supposed to do. The whirlwind of events that have made up this Summer is a blur of regrets with few achievements. I've gotten scared of a lot of things lately, and one of them is that I'm going to be alone this next year. People are leaving my life, and even though I put my all into trying to get them back, it's not working. I'm losing it all. My friends, my parents, my wings, and my mind.<br />
Whenever my family goes places, the waiter/person greeting us/cashier always asks, "How are you?" and my dad always says jokingly, "oh, I'm hanging in there." But that is usually my actual answer these days. I'm hanging in there by a thread, a strong thread, but a thread none the less.<br />
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I took a trip to the heavens yesterday, and let me tell you, it was quit<span id="goog_1363705797"></span><span id="goog_1363705798"></span>e a neat experience. Stars surrounded me, and I felt like anything was possible if I let it happen. It will be quite a long time until I get to go there again, but I was glad that I could go for a little bit yesterday. It helped me get my bearings straight in this crazy life.<br />
Meet me tonight in dream land. Let's escape this world for a little, and dream. Close your eyes with me so you can learn more about me than you already know. Let's have magic, let's go flying, let's defeat scary giants with our fire powers. Let us taste each other's lips. Let's drink from the shimmering water and play with the talking fish and create a world of our own. Let's have a three dimensional connection.<br />
<span style="white-space: pre;"> </span>The Summer is not even close to being over in my mind. Hailey, we need to remember to go up in the canyon like those cool kids. Haley, we need to have Ardon play ghost in the graveyard in your basement so that he knows what it means to be scared. Trevor, we still need to do something before you leave, Dom too. Kira, we need to watch Downton Abbey and I Love Lucy. Daria, I need to take you to the Tin Angel.<br />
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It's not over yet folks, we still have a week left. Let's make the most of it.<br />
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Peter Stellahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16794605079003303751noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7068908758475546657.post-24332918509746552862019-06-22T23:10:00.002-07:002019-06-22T23:10:10.769-07:00Please Little Lamb I know you aren't trying to hurt me, but that is what is hurting me the most. Can't you see that I treasure every moment I'm with you? I still have the letter you gave me a year ago, and I read it constantly. I bet you didn't know that I still have it. I don't even know if you remember writing it. Reading it makes me feel so complete. For the one minute that I read it, I actually feel like I've made an impact on someone's life. Then the words fade, and with it, the grand feeling. I want to believe that those words are still true, but it's starting to look just like ink on paper to me.<br />
Sometimes people leave you, halfway through the wood, but some will fade in and out. We have one year left until you fade out, and I hope you can fade in for some of the time before that. My biggest fear is regret. Don't make me regret our distance this next year. I love your honesty, your smile, your love, your realness. I thought I didn't need to put on a big show for you to stay, I still don't think I do, but that's what I'm doing right now. Please please please stay. I have this gut feeling that you are still supposed to teach me something. Or I'm suppose to teach you something, and you can't just ignore gut feelings. I know you don't see it as throwing everything away, but that is completely how I see it. I don't want to leave on a bad note. I want to leave feeling complete, good, finished. Not with my mouth agape with wonder, confusion, and regret. I hate that word: regret. Please please please don't be my biggest regret.<br />
<br />
I felt ok holding you,<br />
I didn't feel fire but I felt comforted,<br />
You are the lost lamb that can't be found,<br />
Just as I find you,<br />
You run away again.<br />
<br />
Now I'm lost looking for you,<br />
The worry that your gone for good,<br />
The feeling that I need to look a little harder,<br />
The regret that I hope won't follow.<br />
<br />
Please be one less regret in my life.<br />
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Peter Stellahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16794605079003303751noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7068908758475546657.post-67314642189342566412019-06-22T23:07:00.004-07:002019-06-22T23:07:53.200-07:00What am I...What I see...<br />
I see the beautiful sunset. It's orange and pink. The sky above me is a lovely blue, and behind me, it's a delicious purple sprinkled with twinkling lights. Cars are driving past me, and the lights flash on me for a split second making me feel very exposed.<br />
<br />
What I hear...<br />
I hear crickets, which make me very happy. I also hear the sprinklers in people's yards, which also makes me happy. I hear some loud voices a few houses over, which is kind of weird. I can hear the cars on the highway just outside the neighborhood. Overall, it's a quiet sort of sound.<br />
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What I smell...<br />
I smell Summer. Words can not describe how happy this makes me. It just smells so clear and fresh. I love filling in my lungs full of the wondrous scent. I hope it's doing good for my lungs.<br />
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What I remember...<br />
I remember my childhood. Looking at the different houses and the different winding roads, I'm reminded of my fights, my quarrels, but also my fun. Just across the street, there lives a kid the same age as me. We used to be best friends when I moved here, but we haven't talked since seventh grade. This makes me sad, but I don't regret knowing him, because it's what I needed at that time. I remember when I used to ride my bike every single day of the Summer, and all I wanted to do was play.<br />
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What I feel...<br />
I feel peace. Which is a big difference from just a few hours ago. I'm outside in my favorite time of day, in my favorite time of year. Nothing can beat a sunset on a Summer night. I really do feel peaceful right now. I don't know if it's because of what I am seeing, or hearing, or smelling, or the fact that I'm not really doing anything right now, but I love this feeling. I haven't had a moment like this in a long time, I need to have more of them.<br />
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Who I am...<br />
My name is Jack Hoffer, I know why I'm here, I know what I'm supposed to do, and I know where I am going. Hard decisions will need to be made, but I will have help. I am peaceful, I am strong, and I can find people that will help me the most.<br />
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The sunset is now gone, leaving just a hazy light blue. I feel cold, and the smell is less bright...But I am still peaceful. Just because the sunset leaves, it doesn't mean the peace has to leave too. Just learn to be a peaceful person, take time for yourself, and try to find it. No matter what you want in life, you can achieve it. And I promise that if you really want peace, all you have to do is look, and you will find it.<br />
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Always remember, never forget.Peter Stellahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16794605079003303751noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7068908758475546657.post-30177297957781779872019-06-22T23:07:00.001-07:002019-06-22T23:07:19.109-07:00QuietMy heart is clouded and confused. It used to beat with a certain joyous rhythm, but the beats have become unsteady. I'm just waiting for it to get back to its normal tempo like it always does, but it hasn't yet. You need to help me to remember to breathe, slowly and steadily. I just get scared so easily, and it makes me feel like my heart is jumping out of my chest. I need you. I need to have someone to be open with and feel safe with. I need to start over, and I want you there with me. I don't feel lonely, or at least I shouldn't feel lonely. I need to achieve my balance again, but it's quite hard with my eyes closed.<br />
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I'm doing my best to open my eyes at this moment. It's a little hard because they have been shut for so long. I just need to try a little harder...<br />
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********************************************************************************* <br />
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Wow. This world is beautiful. There are so many colors. My eyes are dripping, it's been a long time since I have looked around.<br />
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Its so warm and quiet. Not silent, but quiet. "Like the sound of a page being turned in a book, or a pause in a walk in the woods... Like the sound when you lie upside down in your bed. Just the sound of your heart in your head." -Matilda.<br />
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And the beating of my heart is steady. And I'm breathing. And the people yelling... the sounds... I can't hear them.<br />
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And I'm warm, and its quiet.<br />
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Peter Stellahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16794605079003303751noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7068908758475546657.post-91906173697420312752019-06-22T23:06:00.005-07:002019-06-22T23:06:51.113-07:00Thank You<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
This is the first time I've ever done one of these types of posts. However, through doing this, I have learned that there is a lot of things and people in this world to be grateful for.</div>
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Thank you Heeley. You have helped me see the world in a different perspective, more different than I ever would if I didn't know you. You are so creative, your creativeness leaks out of you wherever you go, I try to salvage as much of it as I can for myself. Sometimes it works, but its hard. You are a true friend, thank you so much, I love you. You are such an amazing, beautiful, smart, funny, bad*** girl.<br />
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Thank you arDON. You are such an inspiration to me. Just as Heeley's creativeness leaks from her, your kindness and generosity leak from you. You can never be thanked enough for all that you do for others. I love that you are my friend, and that I can rely on you for anything. Seeing you happy and smiling, makes me happy too. I love you arDON.<br />
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Thank you Kay Kay. You brighten my day by like ten notches when I see you. My mom asked me who out of my friends is the best influence on me and I said you. You make me want to be a better person, and thats more than I could ask anyone for. We need to have a scheduled Dear Lizzie run every week or something because I cherished that one time. Thank you for your humbleness, it helps me to be more humble. I love you Kay Kay. Thank you for being a wonderful friend.<br />
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Thank you REALLY!?. We've gone through a lot haven't we? And I wanted to thank you because as much as I was complaining, you tried to keep me positive. That Monday was a mess, and I don't think I could have gotten through it without you. The thing that leaks out of you is joy, and the ability to make anyone laugh no matter what. Thank you so much for that, I love that I can be your friend. I love you REALLY!?.<br />
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Thank you Tervoreovreor. Thank you for helping me to be more spontaneous. I needed that. Even though there is a time to be focused, there is also a time to do anything that pops into your head. I have been able to experience so many different, weird, and interesting things because of you. Thank you for being my friend. I love you Tervoreovreor.<br />
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Thank you domthebomb.com. My goodness gracious, I don't know if you realize how amazing and great of a person you are. I have a friend who has never met you, but just from seeing you talk to others, etc... she says that you are spectacular person who is going to do great things. And having known you personally, I know as a fact that you will go on to do great things. You know why? It's not because your talented, even though you are, its because you are a hard worker. Thank you for helping me know that hard work and dedication will help me succeed. I love you Dom.<br />
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Thank you Bertha Shirley. Thank you so much. Wow have you impacted my life, and for the better. You are so beautiful inside and out. No matter who you are talking to, or who you are with, kindness, light, and joy radiate from you. I am so lucky to be your friend. Although not much got accomplished in our study groups, I would not take back a second for I hope that some of your kindness was able to rub off on me. Thank you for reminding me to read. I love reading, but I have forgotten that I do. However, you have rekindled my love for reading, and I can't thank you enough for that. The world would be a much better place if we all just read more. You are the definition of a true friend, thank you so much, I love you.Peter Stellahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16794605079003303751noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7068908758475546657.post-7768102242999772312019-06-22T23:06:00.002-07:002019-06-22T23:06:20.861-07:001:10 A.M. I had such high hopes that I would be able to sleep on the plane, but that dream has been horribly crushed. Why did I even think that I could sleep on a plane when the only other time that I could do it included a first class seat. Tomorrow is going to suck. I just wish that I could sleep, but sitting in the middle seat won't allow that. I was planning on wearing basketball shorts, but my mom told me to wear sweats so that I would "be comfortable". I knew that they would be way to hot to sleep in, and I didn't want to have to wear them for the entire day after. I decided that I would wear them, but leave the shorts in my carry-on so I could switch them out. But guess what, I forgot to put them in my bag. So that is what inspires this post.<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>As I sit here with my legs on fire, and my eyes watering because I am blasting the cold air from the ceiling, so many thoughts are rushing through my head. Most of them include: "why the heck did you forget to put the shorts in your bag" and, "will there be a time and place to buy more somewhere else?" and, "hopefully I don't fall asleep in one of the shows I'm supposed to see tomorrow/today." I'm also thinking about other things. I wonder what will become of my friends. I believe all of them have the potential to become someone of great worth and value. However, I don't know if all of them will take that advantage. I hope with all my heart and soul that they will. They are my friends, I live to see them succeed, but I worry when I see them fall, and instead of becoming stronger, they become weaker.<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Thinking of NYC makes me think of musicals, in particular Pippin. I feel like Pippin right now. If you aren't a nerd like me and don't know what Pippin is, then go look it up because I'm not explaining it. I'm looking for my "Corner of the Sky". Or rather, I know what it is, but I'm not taking the time and effort to achieve it. The answer is love, family, kindness, charity, faith, hope.<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>It's now 1:32, and my eyes are tired, but my body is not. I'm hoping that writing all of these thoughts down will help me become more tired, and forget my legs that are on fire (a fire that was created by the devil himself). I can't really tell if its working, let me keep going.<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Alright, so I am listening to the album Tapestry by Carol King. The song that I am listening to right now is so beautiful. It is called "You've Got a Friend". No, this is not the same song from Toy Story, although that one is good too. It just helps me to remember that there are so many people that have brightened up my life. It also helps me to remember to be a good friend to others. It is our job in life to help others up, and as we help others up, they support us too. "Keep your head together, and call my name out loud...soon, you'll hear me knocking at your door." "Now ain't it good to know that you've got a friend, when people can be so cold? They'll hurt you, yes and desert you, and take your soul if you let them, oh but don't you let them...just call out my name, and wherever I am I will come running to see you again." Anytime you need someone, I am right here.<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Ah, now I'm listening to "Tapestry", which is a very beautiful song. She talks about how how elaborate our lives are. Our lives are beautiful tapestries woven in gold. Mark Twain said once that if a biography was written on someone's life, no matter who it was, it would become a best selling novel. All of our lives are special and elaborate. Everyone has gone through unspeakable trials, and wonderful joys. I guess I should now talk about the song "Elaborate Lives", from Aida. All of us have our ambitions, but what is beautiful is that we can share that with another person. Time is precious, we play games that we can't all win. It is a challenge to achieve your goals, but what would they mean if they weren't challenging? There is stinking lightning right outside the airplane. First of all, that just makes it harder for me to want to sleep. Second off, our lives are so stinking exciting and spectacular. Sure you could sit inside your house all day watching T.V., playing video games, or playing Pokemon, but don't you want to do something more? I took a 30 minute walk one day by myself, this is a few years ago, and it will be something that I will never forget. I walked down to the pond that is close to my house, and went through the secret passage that leads to a waterfall. I sat on a bench near the waterfall. As I sat, I did two things. I breathed, and I thought. I took my dog that I had at the time, and he sat quietly beside my side allowing me to think. My life was pretty crazy at that time, but letting myself think in silence was the best thing that I could have done at the time. My mind felt so clear, and I knew exactly what I needed to do.<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>It is now 2:07, and I just realized that I am seeing Newsies tonight. I love the music and dancing in it, and that is about it. Shoot, I'm going to fall asleep in it huh. There will be those long boring scenes with all the old people talking about something boring, and that is when I will fall asleep. I also think that by writing, I have made it harder for myself to sleep. Why does inspiration always come at the most inopportune times? Why am I complaining? I am on a plane headed to NYC! I'm going with all of my friends, and we will make so many wonderful memories.<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>I can't stop staring out the window, it is so mesmerizing. Crazy weather is my favorite, well, right next to a hot sunny summer day. Darn it, I just woke up Ardon and T.J., I didn't mean to, I just sneezed. I don't know if they know why they woke up, but they did and they are trying to sleep some more. But Ardon, since I know that you will be reading this, now you know why you woke up when you were in your deep sleep. Hopefully I can sleep, pray for me that I can find some shut eye.<br />
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P.S. There is a little bit of light coming from the young sunrise. Peter Stellahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16794605079003303751noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7068908758475546657.post-25442495858053311332019-06-22T23:05:00.006-07:002019-06-22T23:05:56.769-07:00Chocolate Semifreddo.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg00B96h_mQFdnrwfghW2fM6QViHgSEWYC63U0en6rY6g8SpsFfSovauC5LzD3r_jhKmGS1czKuTn_CGc5bjKHCxeURvr4N6uk2UxXUJgnnDRo6LXk-cZHSs-Qg3Jvii3IDvM5-5Df43wY/s1600/choco.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg00B96h_mQFdnrwfghW2fM6QViHgSEWYC63U0en6rY6g8SpsFfSovauC5LzD3r_jhKmGS1czKuTn_CGc5bjKHCxeURvr4N6uk2UxXUJgnnDRo6LXk-cZHSs-Qg3Jvii3IDvM5-5Df43wY/s1600/choco.jpeg" width="320" /></a></div>
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>They were old and in the hospital, her time was coming to an end. He sat by her side as he had done for the past 62 years. He always loved her, and he would continue to love her. His hands warmed hers as her heart beat slowed. He wasn't sad, he didn't even cry. The only thing he thought about was how beautiful she was, and all the time that he was able to have to love her. "Thank you," he said, "I don't think I'll ever be able to repay you for all that you have given me." He bent down and kissed her forehead. "I love you," he said. "I love you too," she replied. He sat smiling at her as she closed her eyes and drifted off.<br />
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Peter Stellahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16794605079003303751noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7068908758475546657.post-88531630918725143922019-06-22T23:05:00.003-07:002019-06-22T23:05:30.640-07:00Another Palette Cleanser<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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“Don’t tell me the moon is shining; show me the glint of light on broken glass.” | Anton ChekovPeter Stellahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16794605079003303751noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7068908758475546657.post-10648975256118217522019-06-22T23:05:00.000-07:002019-06-22T23:05:00.344-07:00My Mind: chopped and fried with a garnish of madness.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>I'm a spontaneous person, right? I mean, sometimes you say that I have to think through everything I do before I do it, but I have my moments of sheer blind spontaneity. That is the problem with me. I either overthink and overanalyzes things to the point that my brain turns to mush and I end up not doing anything. Or my mind sits and does nothing as it watches my body go and do random things at random places with random people. I wish I had not only the strength to do the things that I need to accomplish, but also the control.<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Yes, sometimes I wish that I could hide under a rock and never come out. Just let my mind and body rot and never exist again. But I also sometimes wish that I could fly like a bird, letting my doubts and fears get pulled off my body like a wave on a beach. My body aches when my friends, those I love with all my heart, lose it. Lose their minds, their hearts, their feet, being crazy enough to think that they can't get them back (even though they can). Their mirrors are not just cracked, but have dramatically broken into thousands of pieces and the pieces have artfully sprinkled the ground. They see the task of putting the pieces back together too great a feat to undertake so they walk away, trying to forget. I wish that I could fix it for them, but only they know how to put it back together themselves. Yes, there is the whole "you can bring a horse to water" scenario, but is that what I should be doing? Using ALL of my strength and energy to push and pull them just so they can stare at their reflections in the water? Yes, I should, because how do I know if they will drink or not?<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>I love you, I care about you, I want you to succeed. I am not just saying this to one particular person, I am saying this to you. Yes you, the person who is reading this. Don't ever give up, that is a sign of weakness. Are you weak? Heck no! You are so incredibly, undeniably, strong. You may say I'm mad, but hey, the best people are.<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>I hope you enjoyed the main course, have you saved room for dessert?Peter Stellahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16794605079003303751noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7068908758475546657.post-28372574682047116092019-06-22T23:04:00.003-07:002019-06-22T23:04:46.292-07:00A Palette Cleanser<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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“Your life is an occasion. Rise to it.” | Suzanne Weyn, Mr. Magorium’s Wonder EmporiumPeter Stellahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16794605079003303751noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7068908758475546657.post-67772709330377641092019-06-22T23:04:00.000-07:002019-06-22T23:04:01.255-07:00The Appetizer: A Refreshing, Light Salad.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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The sun rose. It was unspeakably beautiful. The long trek up the mountain that started at 3 in the morning...was finally worth it. No one spoke a word. We could hear birds singing, and that was all. It was like being reborn, and we all got to experience it together. We were all good friends, but as the sun stretched its light over the valley, we somehow became more than friends, just for that moment. It was exhilarating, but also calming. For just that period of time, I felt perfectly fine about everything. Peter Stellahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16794605079003303751noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7068908758475546657.post-72702344208653270752019-06-22T23:02:00.003-07:002019-06-22T23:02:59.210-07:00vorfreude<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Hey there. I've thought about you a lot while I'm dreaming. Whether that is day or night, I guess you could say both. It's what gets me off my lazy bum and start doing things. My life is quite blurry at times, but there are a few things that I can see clearly, and you are one of them ...even if I have never met you... I love you. You help me see the things I need to clean up in my life. Like my room, and my schoolwork, but you also help me to be strong. To say sorry for things I've done wrong. To keep pushing onward and upward. To see life a little bit brighter than I normally would.</span><br /><span style="font-family: inherit;"></span><br /><span style="font-family: inherit;">I feel a fluttering in my stomach just thinking about you, that makes me kind of scared for what will happen when I actually meet you. I wonder if you have thought about me. I can only hope that I can live up to your expectations because heaven knows that that will take some work. Maybe I think about the future too much, but I know I can't stop thinking about you. I should probably be studying for my APUS history test that I am not prepared for...at all. Instead, I am reminiscing about the future, the adventures we will have, the love that we will share. I'm falling for your eyes, even though they don't know me yet.</span></span>Peter Stellahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16794605079003303751noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7068908758475546657.post-41683321414226072302019-06-22T23:01:00.003-07:002019-06-22T23:01:40.895-07:00Back in the Summer.I am sorry.<br />
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I am sorry that I lied after you told the truth.<br />
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The distant sound of the children playing on the playground behind us mixed with the sound of the stream at our feet and the breeze through the tree that stretched above us. The sun was about to set, and the sky started turning peach. Everything was so calm. We talked for hours, and although it didn't seem like I said much, my mind was racing. I didn't know what to think.<br />
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We decided to walk.<br />
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My head and heart started speaking, and I couldn't decide which was saying what.<br />
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"You don't want to live with regrets."<br />
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"Is this something you really want?"<br />
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"You will be happier."<br />
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"You will be more melancholy."<br />
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"Be frank."<br />
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"Take a chance."<br />
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The more we were together, the more I listened to my head. The perfect picture started becoming clearer and clearer. But there was a tugging within me all the while. I ignored the tugging and made myself think that it could happen.<br />
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I said yes, and leaped.<br />
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I leaped and started falling, but it wasn't me that hit the ground.<br />
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Our friendship has been so good and true. I can rely on you, and I know that you can rely on me. The love we share is stronger than what it would have been. I am so sorry for what I did. I knew the feelings you had and I wanted to match it, but I couldn't.<br />
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I care so much about you...<br />
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please forgive me?Peter Stellahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16794605079003303751noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7068908758475546657.post-21555486702641044762019-06-22T23:00:00.002-07:002019-06-22T23:00:30.443-07:00Grandpa JohnAn amazing person passed away yesterday, my Grandpa. He was a spectacular and fascinating man. He accomplished so much during his life. Although it was tough losing him, the last moments in the hospital with him and all my family will be something I will never forget. It was stunning how much love there was in the room. A couple hours before he passed, all of my aunts and uncles went around telling a simple memory of him. I was able to learn so much about him and his accomplishments, his personality, his younger life, and so much more. We were all laughing as we remembered funny things. We decided that we would sing a few songs. The feeling in the room was felt so peaceful. It was a privilege to know this man, let alone that he was my Grandpa. He was such a hard working man: he served in the air force during WWII. He helped NASA with the space shuttle to the moon. He also raised eight children, leaving behind a strong legacy. I am honored that I could be named after him. Love ya Grandpa!<br />
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Peter Stellahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16794605079003303751noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7068908758475546657.post-78964734641400262372019-06-22T22:58:00.002-07:002019-06-22T22:58:53.772-07:00la douleur exquise<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<em><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">He is courageous, bold, full of light,</span></em></div>
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<em><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">She is smart, pretty, inventive.</span></em></div>
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<em><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">He catches the wind like a kite,</span></em></div>
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<em><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">She is at the end holding firm.</span></em></div>
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<em><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">He loves that he can talk to her,</span></em></div>
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<em><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">She loves the sparkle in his eyes.</span></em></div>
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<em><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">He has big plans for his future,</span></em></div>
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<em><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">She lives in the present moment.</span></em></div>
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<em><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">He passes her in the hallway,</span></em></div>
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<em><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">She smiles inside and outside.</span></em></div>
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<em><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">He sees just another school day,</span></em></div>
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<em><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">She sees another day with him.</span></em></div>
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<em><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">He plans to find the perfect one.</span></em></div>
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<em><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">She knows she is the one.</span></em></div>
Peter Stellahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16794605079003303751noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7068908758475546657.post-86377811094799700692015-05-03T22:37:00.000-07:002015-05-03T22:37:31.950-07:00Infinity<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Helvetica;">
The universe is expanding, just like my knowledge of the universe. Thoughts come and go, feelings pass by like an airplane in the sky, and I continue to learn.</div>
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Sailing out to sea with the hopes of finding treasure, but only finding empty water. I'm starting to get cabin fever, and the heat from the sun ain't helping. But the treasures were found in the hopes and dreams falling from your eyes. Not from a hollow treasure chest.</div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial;">It's a very simple statement, but oh so true, that everything you ever need is right next to you. Infinity you ask? The expanding universe you ask? Is nothing compared to the quiet sound of your feet on the ground, or the way you dream about tomorrow, or the feeling of a hug when it's desperately needed.</span></div>
Peter Stellahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16794605079003303751noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7068908758475546657.post-22174318096716469652015-04-19T20:49:00.000-07:002015-04-20T18:30:26.778-07:00What I wish I told you...<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Helvetica; min-height: 13px;">
<span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial;">Your heart has hardened.</span><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial;"> </span></div>
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It is not as hard as a rock yet, it is more of a gum-ball. It appears to be hard, but I know that it is soft on the inside.</div>
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That day we walked, my strength left me. I became quiet and I was so mad at myself for being quiet because I knew exactly what to say. But maybe it was better to be quiet.</div>
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All I have to tell you is that it not only rained, but it snowed. Told ya so.</div>
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The main definition of humility: 1)a disposition to be humble; a lack of false pride.</div>
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You almost made me throw up with the words you were saying. All I could think was, "this is not a person I want to be friends with." You have grown weak thinking that you are alone. The only time you are truly alone, is when you tell yourself you are. I don't know how long you have been telling yourself that, but please stop. I can't say it for you.</div>
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Then you asked me out just a few hours later, and I'm going to be honest, I was about to say no. I hope that doesn't hurt you, but after what you had said it was pretty hard to say yes. </div>
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Remember that time when we were parked in front of my house, and we talked for a long time, and then things got emotional. "Trying" was the key word of the night from you. And I believe you. I truly believe that you are trying. That is all that is important in this life: trying. But is it too much to ask for you to try a little bit harder? Like having more faith, more courage? The courage to ask for a ride? </div>
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I care about you. That is the only reason I'm saying this.</div>
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Please, I'm begging you, let your heart soften. </div>
Peter Stellahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16794605079003303751noreply@blogger.com4